The Story of Goatee Day

It began long ago in 1987,
Hair band era hip, Finn is almost in Heaven.
But something was missing during that year,
A day that all could celebrate, cherish, hold dear.
One man took notice, and began to create,
Surrounded by friends, it was as if it were fate.
They all started wondering what the Finn was up to,
He said “I’ll create a day that’s fun for the whole crew.”
But what would we do for this day of days,
Finn said, “Why, we all will grow goatees in our own special way,
Hev will have a thick one,
And young Z one so small,
R.D. will have a bushy one,
And Irish, well, we all know his will be the biggest of all.”
Finn said, “Mine is simply average, nothing special to see,
But Banner’s exquisite, as exquisite as can be.
Pam doesn’t have one and neither does Kim,
But they simply can’t grow one, so no blame to them,
So come, let’s go, we’ll start the day from here you see,
The one known as Goatee Day, the one started by me.”
But questions of success lurked in the air,
“ Is Finn really that serious, or is he just drunk and not care?”

“Of course I’m serious,” Finn jumped and proclaimed,
“ I’ll dedicate myself to this as long as Finn is my name.”
It will be a day so grand and fine,
Goatees will grow, all different kinds.
Some would be grown on the deck of a boat,
They would be grown by all, with a goat,
Wait, that’s been said before in some other book,
Yes, a book where something green was cooked.
So, we need to move on and be more original,
We can’t copy others. Then our day would be just too typical.
So come one, come all, we’ve got growing to do,
Every one’s in, ask yourself, “Are you?”
We only want people who are willing to be dedicated,
The need to be strong, have values, be educated.
Or else we’d be left with no holiday,
It would simply be lost and just slide away.

We need people who’ll grow goats, people with class,
Not like that Todd guy, he’s pretty half-assed.
Goatees must be displayed all throughout the U.S.,
The ones who are invited to join, they’ll be blessed,
And so the tradition has continued for twenty so years,
Through ups and downs, heartaches and cheers.
And this year, 2008 will be the day,
The one where everyone grows goatees in their own special way.
So now our story comes to an end,
If you didn’t like it, well, then just pretend.
For, we’ve all worked hard doing our parts,
That’s why this story is here, to remind us of the start.
Now how do I end this, this is so hard “AAAHHHH,”
Well, I guess I’ll steal from the Hev, and simply say “UUUUHHHH.”